sped /spɛd/ (noun): an individual of diminished cognitive faculty. colloquially, a friend.

etymology: shortened from 'special education'. a polite construction.

a refined term for an unrefined condition.

every group chat has a sped. every group chat IS a sped.

the goofy one. the loud one. the one who sends cursed images at 2am.

that's you. that's all of us.

every good meme was made by a sped with no job.

every viral tweet was typed with two thumbs and zero braincells.

the internet runs on spedposting. always has.

society needs speds. somebody has to click the link.

somebody has to ape. somebody has to catch the knife.

without speds there's no economy. just excel sheets.

raise your standards. lower your iq.

be proud. be stupid. be loud.

sped forever.